bittersweet.

So after reading my BESTFRIEND'S post, lol, i decided to write one of my own. No Casie, it wasnt because of all the excess energy i have, but because im feeling both excited and deflated, if those are even the words im looking for. Im excited because Casie's not going to Albany as of the end of this term. I feel for her though, because she was really excited to have gotten accepted and to be going away and for that not to have been what she wanted or expected all along is a sucky feeling and i dont wish that for her.

BUT, i am also feeling deflated because in the midst of my excitement i forgot that IM going to be the one leaving as of the end of this year. I wish i could stay and finally be with my friends and have fun again instead of just work, work, and work. I wouldve had my support system again for when i started school and when i needed help with my classes. it sucks that she made this decision now, lol but i dont blame you, when im leaving. Dont get me wrong, im STOKED to be going to a new place and beginning a new life, even more stoked knowing its going to be with the person i love the most. YOUR UP THERE CASIE lol. (if gay marriage were legal... you know ;D ) anywhoo....but yea. i just wish that this end of the year wouldve been a smiiiidge different...

Till some other timeee =)

Friends ♥

So like i said before, i knew i wasnt going to be consistent with this blog thing at all. Lately though, ive been wanting to write and kind of vent about things going on right now. Ive done a lot of thinking, because i do nothing else, and i realized that the people who are most close to me in my life, my friends, arent really close to me now. It's not their fault at all, the person to blame here is myself. They have tried to keep in contact with me and tried to hang out with me plenty of times. My excuse for not hanging out? Tired from work.

A couple of days ago, i realized that i dont really have too much right now. I got work, if thats even anything, and my family. But your family cant fill the void of not hanging out with friends or having people to talk to about whats going on in your life now. If anything, it might just be awkward. Anywho...so after much thinking i realized that i have been pushing my friends away on my own....so the other day i hit up yan and asked him if he was busy on Friday. This was my first step to reaching out to them and trying to change things. I have to stop using work as an excuse for my not going out. Yeah its a big factor, but I can still shrug that off and go out with them. After all, they are my friends and they've been there for me through alot of stuff. And i love them. ( haha cheesy moment)

Ive also been trying to regain contact with friends whom ive lost touch with. Like Gonz. =) Were supposed to go to Valentinos, along with Cindy and Ruby, one weekend when shes not working. Talking to her also made me realize how much i needed to fix things and how i really truly did want to change and start building that relationship back up.

Well yea, now that i got that off my chest...

CASIE'S COMING BACK ON FRIDAY!
I'm excited. i havent seen her in who knows how long. and i wanted to apologized to her for not carrying my own weight in this friendship. She's always the one to call me and kind of look for me and it shouldnt be like that. Sure, im not used to being the one to call anyone, except for David, but thats going to change too. IM GOING TO START CALLING YOU CASIE! lol

I guess this is kind of like an early New Years Resolution?

Wish me luck.

To Casie

This is my first blog. I don't really care too much for this, but my BFF Casie, told me to make one. She actually threatened me saying that I was going to be killed if I didn't listen. I fear for my life so I made this blog.

I probably wont be writing too much in this, so don't constantly check it out.

=D