a bronx tale

So yesterday David came home with a movie he borrowed from a library. I saw the cover and I thought I wasn't going to like it. It was some old mafia looking movie--not my type. But as I started to watch it I realized I really liked the movie. It also turns out It kinda was the types of movies I like...anywho, the movie was called a bronx tale, and robert de niro was in it. (I actually thought he'd be in it more lol).

This movie is a story about a little boy who looks up to this bad mafia guy, although the boy doesn't see him as bad instead he thinks he's the coolest person he'd ever seen. One day the boy was sittin on his stoop and witnesses a murder. It was two guys getting into a fight over, what the boy thought was a parking spot, and Sonny, the mafia guy the kid looks up to, shoots one of the guys. The police come and ask the boy to point out the killer and since he didn't want to be a rat he said it was none of them. sonny's outlook of the kid changed complete and from then on he took him under his wing as if he were his own son. From then on a couple of yrs passed and the kid grEw but he was still close to sonny. That guy taught him right from wrong and always told him to stay in school and get two educations. Street smart and school smart.

The kids real dad never liked the fact that he hung out with Sonny because to him he was a "bad guy".

Well, what I'm trying to get at is that sometimes people might be perceived as bad because of what they do or did, but its not 100% true until you get to personaly know them. I mean, this guy was bad to the bone, he killed people and sold who knows what to be as rich as he was, but when it came to this kid he wanted the best for him andgave him all the love in the world. He told him never to be like him...

So yea this movie really opened my eyes. I guess it also ties in with don't judge a book by its cover. (Shrugs)

A bronx tale--go watch it!

just updating :)

So I'm married!! Actually, I've been married for about a week now. Its such an awesome feeling knowing that you're finally going to be with the person you love without having other people,like your parents, telling you when you have to be home--or just plain telling you what you have to do. Its awesome. Almost liberating. I feel completely independent. I love being home--the hotel room, for now lol. I love waiting for David to come home for lunch and then come home for good at 4. I love watchin tv with him and just laughing at the little things. I love falling asleep in his arms after a wonderful day with him.

Ok ok I'm gushing now, but I just can't help it lol. Anywho. So even with all of this happy lovey dovey stuff there's always some tears. It just so happens that the last time I cried was at the airport when I was saying bye to my family...I had always told myself that I didn't think I was going to cry. But, it was inevitable...seeing my dads usual stone face turn red and trying to hold back tears just pulls at something in you. And to top it all off...my mother was crying a river...and THAT was the most painful thing to see. I can't stand to see my mother cry whether I'm mad at her or not...she was so choked up she could barely talk to me. When I hugged her for the last time she told me she'd miss me so much and that she loved me a lot. I broke down and just cried. I cried while I was on line going through security check and a littl after that. I realized that this wasn't some kind of vacation...I'd be leaving them and not seeing them until who knows when...if I'm having trouble with something I can't just say hey no worries ill ask my mom later when I see her, cuz I won't be seeing her for a while... "/


Well, I got a lot more to say but I have to shower and make lunch for my husband. Hopefully now that I'm alone more I will take more time out to update and vent on this blog thing lol. :)

bittersweet.

So after reading my BESTFRIEND'S post, lol, i decided to write one of my own. No Casie, it wasnt because of all the excess energy i have, but because im feeling both excited and deflated, if those are even the words im looking for. Im excited because Casie's not going to Albany as of the end of this term. I feel for her though, because she was really excited to have gotten accepted and to be going away and for that not to have been what she wanted or expected all along is a sucky feeling and i dont wish that for her.

BUT, i am also feeling deflated because in the midst of my excitement i forgot that IM going to be the one leaving as of the end of this year. I wish i could stay and finally be with my friends and have fun again instead of just work, work, and work. I wouldve had my support system again for when i started school and when i needed help with my classes. it sucks that she made this decision now, lol but i dont blame you, when im leaving. Dont get me wrong, im STOKED to be going to a new place and beginning a new life, even more stoked knowing its going to be with the person i love the most. YOUR UP THERE CASIE lol. (if gay marriage were legal... you know ;D ) anywhoo....but yea. i just wish that this end of the year wouldve been a smiiiidge different...

Till some other timeee =)

Friends ♥

So like i said before, i knew i wasnt going to be consistent with this blog thing at all. Lately though, ive been wanting to write and kind of vent about things going on right now. Ive done a lot of thinking, because i do nothing else, and i realized that the people who are most close to me in my life, my friends, arent really close to me now. It's not their fault at all, the person to blame here is myself. They have tried to keep in contact with me and tried to hang out with me plenty of times. My excuse for not hanging out? Tired from work.

A couple of days ago, i realized that i dont really have too much right now. I got work, if thats even anything, and my family. But your family cant fill the void of not hanging out with friends or having people to talk to about whats going on in your life now. If anything, it might just be awkward. Anywho...so after much thinking i realized that i have been pushing my friends away on my own....so the other day i hit up yan and asked him if he was busy on Friday. This was my first step to reaching out to them and trying to change things. I have to stop using work as an excuse for my not going out. Yeah its a big factor, but I can still shrug that off and go out with them. After all, they are my friends and they've been there for me through alot of stuff. And i love them. ( haha cheesy moment)

Ive also been trying to regain contact with friends whom ive lost touch with. Like Gonz. =) Were supposed to go to Valentinos, along with Cindy and Ruby, one weekend when shes not working. Talking to her also made me realize how much i needed to fix things and how i really truly did want to change and start building that relationship back up.

Well yea, now that i got that off my chest...

CASIE'S COMING BACK ON FRIDAY!
I'm excited. i havent seen her in who knows how long. and i wanted to apologized to her for not carrying my own weight in this friendship. She's always the one to call me and kind of look for me and it shouldnt be like that. Sure, im not used to being the one to call anyone, except for David, but thats going to change too. IM GOING TO START CALLING YOU CASIE! lol

I guess this is kind of like an early New Years Resolution?

Wish me luck.

To Casie

This is my first blog. I don't really care too much for this, but my BFF Casie, told me to make one. She actually threatened me saying that I was going to be killed if I didn't listen. I fear for my life so I made this blog.

I probably wont be writing too much in this, so don't constantly check it out.

=D